No Darling it's not a trick of the light

Yes!
you are truly seeing it! it never happened before this,
all the ppl on the "perfection list" are removed!
finally they have paled, withered, shriveled and died a quiet painless death.
with this dramatic bomb I Bid you -whoever reads this- aduei.
au revoir
Bon voyage
adios
hasta la vista

Once, not too long ago, though it sure feels like it, I was called a hypocrite
I didn't understand why, but a year later I understood
It wasn't that I said something and did another, no.
It was because I saw a situation I considered wrong
and then I found myself in a similar one and didn't see anything wrong with it.
Point is; don't preach about something you haven't the foggiest idea about.
***
Apparently Dunhill's are the best cigarettes
Davidoff's are the worst
Marlboro's are a solid trademark
And indonesians make the worst cigarettes
I dunno if it's true,
That's what I've been told
***
I hate it when beautiful people (namely guys) smoke
It breaks my heart
I want to say: noooooooo give that cig to Ugly standing next to you!
***
To be brutally honest: I fantasize about smoking; even tho I know its unhealthy
Notice I said 'fantasize' as in I have NEVER put a cigarette to my lips
Everytime I want to try it I worry about two things:
1- that I'll like it
2- that I'll lose all respect for myself
Which is why I don't and hopefully won't ever smoke
***
I don't want to marry a smoker
Simply because the furniture, clothes, body odor, bags, basically everything will stink of smoke
It'll be like making out with an ashtray
And inhaling toxic fumes in a lab.
Oh and smoking includes: shisha, m3assil, cigarettes, cigars, pipe and hash
***
I just had icecream at an icecream bar at a wedding! It was awesome!
Then to balance I got fruit salad later.
***
I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
Tonight I actually 'felt' beautiful
Ma sha Allah
Its amazing what blowidrying my hair does to my confidence
I feel 'hot'!
*giggle*
Makeup too! Its like it gave me power. Added to the dress.
I feel like I could withstand any blow
(Well not really but right now I believe so)
Though I could you know, withstand any effort to squash me
Because I'm no longer a soldier fighting someone else's battle
I'm a warrior and the war I go into is for truth love and honor
I don't need to fight to survive.
I exude power, calm and love
***
Love conquers all (emotions that is, God conquers all!)
***
Thinking of sleeping in my dress,
but it aint that comfortable, so no, gotta get up and to bed in 'jammies
***
I bid you
Bonne nuit
Au reviore

scattered thoughts

I wish I was comfortable in my own skin
I never was and never will be apparently
***
I'm pretty but not beautiful
Smart but not witty
And until someone geniuenly convinces me otherwise I can't seem to see it any other way.
***
I've never been carefree, but maybe careless
I'm sweet and never callous
***
I have yet to meet the man of my dreams
The one who's imperfections fit in the puzzle of my life
The one who was created for me
I'm not daft in thinking that it'll be easy that there won't be tears and pain
Because I know there'll be love and joy to eclipse the sorrow that may descend
***
It's been said-mainly by me- that I am contradictory
In truth I am very much so, I might hate something with vengance yet love it with equal fervor
I might forbid myself something yet yearn for it feverishly
***
I've been thin but never skinny
I only notice that because of how much I loathe how I look now
That I have now willpower to get up and excersize
That even when I found the solution hurdles are thrown in my path
I love pilates, it helped me grow emotionally and physically
I had the perfect body
But pilates was 250 a class
3 times a week meaning 750 riyals a week and 3000 riyals a month
Money I don't have (hate)
So I choose horseback riding
It was 50 riyals a day 3 times a week = 150 riyals a week 600 riyals a month
Verrrrry reasonable!!!!
But nooooooooooo
Baby bro HAD to hate it, my sis's horse got sold and she didn't like any other
My mom was ok either way
And dad well didn't 'feel' like it anymore
Apparently the whole family bar mom saw that sitting infront of the tv
And getting fatter and lazier was better
God I hate this.
***
I wish I were breathtakingly enchanting
***
I wish I had coherent thoughts
But all that's there is babble.

My Dream

I Want To Be One With The Heavens, on a bike.
i want a Kawasaki!!!