Responsibility

I don't not like resposibility, i'm just afraid of it.
i don't like letting people down, so i don't offer my services when they're needed or wanted.
i don't like being told what to do, so i refrain from being in situations where that is required to get the job done, i'm a great boss, but a somewhat lousy employee if i get pressured and have no space to be creative and roam free.
i like working at my mom's school, because she tells me her expectations then she gives me room to breathe and do my job, she doesn't breathe down my back or berate me about my work.
and now, i'm working at the summer club there i love it even more, there is more room for creativity and innovation, plus, the kids are AWESOME mashAllah.
today, i'm going to be teaching the little kids about diversity and how we all are special!
Wish me luck!
peace out!

Anger!!!! .. not anymore though!

Marriage rule for women to their husbands : If you want me to be home on time, provide the means!!
I hate the husbands that sit on their asses and expect their wives to be home on time when she doesn't have a car or driver to do so, then berate her about being late!
If you want me to be home on time dummy, either get off the couch and come get me, or get a car and a driver to do the job for you.
It makes me mad when i see my friends who are married and look for someone to drive them home to their dumb husbands, when said husband is sitting infront of the tv, she is pissed because he pissed her off, so she ends up pissing us all off!!
Lets say also, that us-the friends- are having a good time, our husbands are out of the country and we can stay up as long as we want, even turn it into a sleep-over party, why do we have to get out of our way ((yes we are her friends, but still, we have lives too!)) to drive the poor thing home?! i mean, where the hell is her husband?! sitting at home preparing a fight most probably!
When I get married, i'm not my parent's resposibility anymore, I'm my husband's. which means, my mom doesn't have to send me her driver, nor does my dad have to pay for stuff i want. that's where the guy i married comes in.
gtg 2 my grams house, continue later :D
peace out!

Sore...!

I have just recently, as of a few minutes ago when i opened my eyes, discovered that i am not a 'sleep on the floor' kind of girl!
slept in Mama's bedroom floor and now i ache all over. why didn't i sleep on the huge bed? well cuz i was being nice to my lil' sister, it's her turn :D and i want to make mama happy by seeking her company.
Anywhoo, off to write my novel , wish me luck :D

peace out!

Just a thought

I think I've talked about basically everything, well not everything everything... but the stuff that runs through my head.

now I'm getting deeper.


Today my topic is "Marriage"

Marriage is a partnership, not a hierarchy , so there are no ranks, there are equals, albeit different, but equals!
So just like men say : I'm the man of the house, I say I'm the woman of the house.
Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me weaker, meeker or less important.
I have the equal right to decide the fate of the family of the household like any man.
ma 3indi kalam "ana si alsayid!!"
If you're a Saudi male you'd laugh at me, if you're a Saudi female you'd sigh and say i wish :p
Because well, we're not oppressed as much as pissed at the way the guys of our world treat us.

It's not the system, it's the community, the upbringing.

Al7amdulila the world is changing and the women's voice is growing stronger, no longer are we afraid of males and their cruelty, rudeness and bad-ass behaviour.
Allah created us as leaders to make leaders, so no one has the right to tell us what to do!
Nice deduction huh?!
Yeah ! I'm planning on giving lectures!

Suck it boys!

Never settle for crumbs ladies...
Don't marry anybody
Marry a somebody
Someone that will make a difference in this world!
Someone that will be your shoulder when the weight of the world is on you.
Don't settle for crumbs
They never filled any one's belly
Nor have they given any satisfaction, well except for birds :D
We ain't birds!!
We're people that have needs, wants and ambitions
Crumbs won't sustain us!
A nice word might make a difference but a life of being alone with the world on our shoulders won't be affected with a rose or a box of chocolates, though the efforts are appreciated.
As leaders and as females we need appreciation, we need to feel that our efforts count for something, even though it is our duty in life.
It's a privilege to be connected to us ;)
It's an honor to be our partners
We are as strong as they come
We won't ever give up
And to our last breath we'll stand strong with those who need support
No word from any one will break us
We're warriors, with experience and strength carved into are systems
We aren't to be taken lightly
So next time a man disrespects a woman, he'll have hell to pay.
No more quietness or fear from us.
Expect the worse.
Expect the best
We're here to stay and you're here to pay!
Peace out ladies
Peace be with you Gentlemen.

NO One can be my boss :D

The law of the land in my world is this:
I am a lion in the family of lions...not just a lioness...i lead, and if needed i could lead with others too...but i will not be told what to do!
pretty simple huh? vital though.
Something to do with being in charge of my life
I'm no fool to the world around me.
I stand up for the oppressed
and stare down the unjust
I won't allow distrust
basically .... no one can be my boss
whether on the street, at work, or at home
I won't bend over and be meek
I am not weak
God gave me a voice to speak



peace :D

The Sky Isn't the limit...it's the first stop!

Never Settle for the moon, when you can have all the stars
Wipe away your tears, be proud of your scars
You are who you are because of the pain you went through
Amazing you are because of your determination to live and be the best you can
So never be ashamed, you stayed when others ran
Life is yours for the taking and the making
So live it to the extreeme, it's obstacles are worth breaking
Write your story the way you want it
One day a kid will read it and say: "I wanna be just like you"
At the end of this race called life
You'll be at the finish line, the winner through and through
Don't be blueAllah is always with you
He sends us clues
He sends us love and mercy
We just have to stop holding onto the world and hold onto Him
With his endless love and infinite power we have everything
You're bright not dim
So keep on living
Never stop fighting for what is yours and what is right
Paint our dark world bright
With life in your hand and Allah in your heart
You'll never lose sight
A Smile
A Wink
The worst'll pass in a blink
This is just the start of your amazing journey to greatness
Peace
Love
And a laugh full of joy
I wish you the Best.

YEAH!!!!!

Finally got all the apartments needed in aussie booked!
yay!
we are officially going, well i knew that a week ago when i had the glorious tickets in my hands :p
oh well, i have covered: tickets, domestic and int'l , accomodation and a list of places to go.
40 days left!!!!
can't wait!
oh my God! it's going to be 20.5 degrees there!
talk about freezing! ((to us jeddah ppl!))
i wana go bungee jump (i think i said that before!) sky diving, snowboarding, shark diving, skiing, snorkeling, extreeme theme park attraction riding! ((heard of WB's theme park? it is off the hook!))
what worries me is how to top this vacation next year!!
inshAllah i'll live :p to see it ((Joking ppl joking!))
but seriously this is my ultimate-adrenaline-crazy vacation i've been dreaming off for YEARS!!
and now ((thanks to Allah)) i'm getting it, but what about next year...hhmmmm, should start planning min da7een right?
sigh, i feel like if it wasn't for me wanting to travel always, we'd end up im Jeddah's scorching summer... and i know that's a bummer, no offense Jeddah, it's just that we end up staying at home or restricted to certain hours of freedom when the warden is gone. but Yay, he's coming back thins week, so i'll only have a few weeks of inmprisonment then Surfer's Paradise HERE I COME!!
o i dunno what clothes to pack!!!!
something stylish, to show the world the we muhajaba's aren't opressed or depressed! but dnt let them read my first posts!! hehe.
if it's as cold as Cape town 2 years ago when we went... i know what to wear :D
Signing off, to go to work... Honestly I'm Enjoying it Al7amdulila!
the girls i teach are AWESOME!
toodles,
Peace!

Currently My FAVORITE song

We Made It
By Busta Rhymes and Linkin Park

[Chester Bennington]
Together we made it We made it even though we had our backs up against the wall

[Busta Rhymes:]
As you can see it niggas i survived the worst but my life is glorious
But I know that I live to be hurdled and i'm so victorious
Take a look I'm a symbol of greatness now call Morpheus
As force accumalted the wind and but a believe I'm so notorious
Didn't know I've been buying my bread even though we rapping now (yes)
And now when you look on my trip and you a higher level tramping now
And Superseded everyone of my little struggles
And Failure has never ever been an option
A paper long like we was on and I'm about to take the hood shoppin, Get it!

[Chorus: Chester Bennington] (Busta Rhymes) *Mike Shinoda*
Together we made it (you see we did it niggas)
We made it even though we had our backs up against the wall (c'mon)
Forever we waited (haha!)
And they told us we were never going to get it but we took it on the road (through the riches)
on the road (through the ghetto)
on the roooooad (and the projects to this bangin instrumental)
on the road (ride with me) *yeah, yeah*
on the road (you come and get it) *yeah, yeah*
on the roooooooad *yeah, yeah, yeah, yo!*

[Mike Shinoda:]
When it all got started we was steadily just getting rejected
And it seemed like nothing we could do would ever get us respected
At best we were stressed, at the worst they probably said we're pathetic.
Had all the pieces to that puzzle just no way to connect it
And I was fighting through every ryhme tighting up every line
Never resting the question and I was out of my mind
And it finally came time to do it or let it die
So put the chips on the table and told 'em to let it ride sing it yeah!

[Chorus: Chester Bennington] (Busta Rhymes)
Together we made it (you see we did it niggas)
We made it even though we had our backs up against the wall (c'mon)
Forever we waited (haha!)
And they told us we were never going to get it but we took it on the road (through the riches)
on the road (through the ghetto)
on the roooooad (and the projects to this bangin instrumental)
on the road (ride with me)
on the road (you come and get it)
on the roooooooad

[Busta Rhymes:]
Look in case you misunderstanded exactly what I'm building
Shit that I could leave for my children (children) children (children)
Now I only wake up I smile to see how far I've come
Fighting for sales on a strip to get hustle from
From nights in jail on a bench using my muscles son
To count money like Dre, Jimmy and Russell Ones
But now I live when i dream, you see we finally did it
Let's make a toast to the hustle regardless how we get it Singing

[Chorus: Chester Bennington] (Busta Rhymes)
Together we made it (you see we did it niggas)
We made it even though we had our backs up against the wall (c'mon)
Forever we waited (haha!)
And they told us we were never going to get it but we took it on the road (through the riches)
on the road (through the ghetto)
on the roooooad (and the projects to this bangin instrumental)
on the road (ride with me)
on the road (you come and get it)
on the roooooooad



Linkin Park are THE BEST !
99% of their songs are Awesome, the rest i don't get.
the messages their music conveys is truly mind blowing!

Me

I sometimes wonder about myself
How my mind works and how my emotions function
it's pretty complicated
I think i'm a pretty confident strong person
but throw me into a new situation, it'll take me time to know how to deal with it.
I think my shyness is sometimes misinterpeted as arrogance or just awkwardness
and they aren't pretty :p
i wish i could say what i think without thinking, but other times i am thankful that i didn't say what whent through my mind! just because i would've embarrased myself to no end.
i wish i could've asked more than talked that way there would'nt be luls in the conversations i have with people.
take a deep breath honey, you ain't that bad, relax it's all good :D
i try to calm my mind down, stop over thinking things and assuming.
then i remember how impatient i am.
then i laugh at my mistakes!
laughing it off, makes it easier and harder at the same time.

lots of other things, but my overworked brain can't think.
must.go.to.sleep.
:p
peace out!

Stuffed!

Al7amdila had lunch
at Applbee's...
only ate buffalo boneless wings, bbq'd that is, but i am gna burst nonetheless!
DO NOT DRINK THE CHERRY LIMEADE it is HORRIBLE... only if u enjoy the candy that we ate as kids we jabatlana 9uda3!!
hehe
it was nice tho.
mama cudn't understand why i didn't eat... i explained to her this : when i'm happy, i don't and can't eat!.
hehe silly, but true!
asir prayer is in...
bbye

annoyed?!... pretty much!

CRASH!
that's the sound my mind made a few minutes ago..now i have a horrible headache and oi just remembered ino ma 7assant nafsi this morning!
no wonder i'm out-of-it!!
sigh... i'm gna do it now...
other than that..
i realized i really need to sleep, and that i haven't been doing any sleeping for the past month, besides the thing where i close my eyes at night and open them in the morning with nightmares in the middle, which isn't sleeping!!
but i can't cuz itz summer and everyone thinks that u have to be awake 24/7 jolly and jumpy...
i wana watch Persuasion again, that is a good movie, BBC made it so it's AWESOME! before my dad comes back from wherever he is and i have to be good again :D
not that i'm bad now, i'm just free to do, eat, talk, breathe however i want wherever i want, fe 7udood alsa7 we al3'alat DUH!!!
BRB GTG TO RED SEA MALL with my mom, which is pretty silly cuz i have striped fuschia and black socks on!!
silly
lunch at steak house yum yum!!!
toodles!!

Breathe... Baby.... Breathe

Breathe honey
It is very funny
why your heart is going crazy
and the world smells like a daisy
summer is here
and now you got your gear
to rip it up with fun
make it you're kingdom
live every moment
write every sensation
bask in the light of the scorching jeddah sun
turn into a roasted chicken
don't forget to run
and laugh with the wind ( marra ma3 nafsi... hawa jeddah ili yedawib alwajh!!!!)
pretend you're in ireland
in a castle by the sea
blowing out dandilions
in a 'i wish' spree!
smile pretty baby, you're officially free!



(well for 3 months that is, oh make that 2 months, ramadan is not a i am free thing, it's a OHMYGOD i gotta work on erasing my sins :p and thank allah for all the beautiful things)

Kaboom... Confetti!

Yay!
Only 3 more days and i will be breathing the air of freedom!
then 2 days and my summer job starts :D wish i could travel somewhere...
InshAllah going to Australia in 49 days :D hehehe!
Can't WAIT!!!!
ANYWAY...
one more final to go :D
wish me luck...
yeesh, just remebered that i have a novel to write, somehow i can't seem to do it right! you have to write the outline FIRST then the rest!!! apparently.. but i can't right an outline, you could give me 1000million books on the matter i still can't get it thru my head!!!
ooooh my sister just helped me thank u angel :P
oh well i want it to be done by the end of August...
it's been 6 years, no wonder my editor gave up on me :(
Sigh...
lets be positive :D
itz gna be AWESOME!!!!
InshAllah
yay!