Thursday, December 10, 2009

scattered thoughts

I wish I was comfortable in my own skin
I never was and never will be apparently
***
I'm pretty but not beautiful
Smart but not witty
And until someone geniuenly convinces me otherwise I can't seem to see it any other way.
***
I've never been carefree, but maybe careless
I'm sweet and never callous
***
I have yet to meet the man of my dreams
The one who's imperfections fit in the puzzle of my life
The one who was created for me
I'm not daft in thinking that it'll be easy that there won't be tears and pain
Because I know there'll be love and joy to eclipse the sorrow that may descend
***
It's been said-mainly by me- that I am contradictory
In truth I am very much so, I might hate something with vengance yet love it with equal fervor
I might forbid myself something yet yearn for it feverishly
***
I've been thin but never skinny
I only notice that because of how much I loathe how I look now
That I have now willpower to get up and excersize
That even when I found the solution hurdles are thrown in my path
I love pilates, it helped me grow emotionally and physically
I had the perfect body
But pilates was 250 a class
3 times a week meaning 750 riyals a week and 3000 riyals a month
Money I don't have (hate)
So I choose horseback riding
It was 50 riyals a day 3 times a week = 150 riyals a week 600 riyals a month
Verrrrry reasonable!!!!
But nooooooooooo
Baby bro HAD to hate it, my sis's horse got sold and she didn't like any other
My mom was ok either way
And dad well didn't 'feel' like it anymore
Apparently the whole family bar mom saw that sitting infront of the tv
And getting fatter and lazier was better
God I hate this.
***
I wish I were breathtakingly enchanting
***
I wish I had coherent thoughts
But all that's there is babble.

No comments:

 

Website Tracking
Free Web Counter