My recent addiction

My recent addiction
Stand up comedy
Seriously it is AWESOME
Of course not all stand up comics are funny...some are just nasty!!

Here's a list of the best comics:
Robin Williams

That's it, he is the best, everyone else is in this other list of
funny people.
I have yet to hear someone who is funnier than him, he is so funny
( ma sha ) that I can hear his routine 100 times and still be in
stiches!

My other list of ok funny comics:
John Stewart
Jasper carrot
Lewis black
Chris rock
Dane cook
Steven colbert
Paul brant
George carlin (sometimes)
Eddie izzard
George lopez
And other people but these people are pretty good.

Done with 75% of inorganic biochemistry
Pray for me please
I have the final on Sunday and I NEED a full mark 40/40!!!

Sent from my iPod

Heartbreaking news

Heartbreaking news
I thought I was fine, that the extra chocolaty chocoladte fudge
brownie wouldn't affect me,
I walk a lot and eat healthy
But apparently I was doing something wrong cuz "the line" is no longer
there!!!
I just noticed today!!
The line being the one I aqquired last year after 6-9 months of
intensive pilates.
The one that gave me hope that one day I'll have a body ad perfect as
Fergie's.
But it's gone and it's not coming back as quick as I want it!!
I mean cmon 6-9 months and then it dissapears??!! It's not fair nor
right!!!
Sigh!
Today I did 110 sit-ups, yesterday and the day before I did 150-160.
Which is nothing compared to last year me, I used to do 250-300.
Weep!
I'm trying to get to it. But I have to get rid of the negativity I'm
feeling.
I'm gna be positive and I will do 250 today in sha Allah.
Peace out.

Sent from my iPod

صحيت من النوم فجأة

Forwarded

لا تقف كثيرا عند أخطاء ماضيك .. لأنها ستحيل حاضرك جحيما ومستقبلك حطاما .

.... يكفيك منها وقفة اعتبار تعطيك دفعة جديدة في طريق الحق والصواب

******************

صحيت من النوم فجأة




شفت نور غريب !!

المشكلة أن نور الغرفة مسكر

شفت الساعة على 3 ونص الفجر

طيب .. النور هذا كله من وين ؟؟؟

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تفاجأت لما شفت يدي نصها بالجدار

طلعتها بسرعة وانا خايف جلست اشوفها

دخلتها مره ثانيه بالجدار .. تدخل !!!!!!!!

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سمعت صوت ضحك

جلست التفت لقيت اخوي نايم !!!

قمت من السرير وانا خايف رحت اصحيه

بس ما يرد علي

رحت لغرفة أمي

أحاول أصحي أبوي

أبغى أحد يرد علي ماردو

رحت لأمي أحاول اصحيها فجأة قامت من النوم !!!!!

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هي قامت من النوم بس ماكلمتني

كانت تسمي ' بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم ' وتكررها ..

قومت ابوي من النوم قالت له قوم قوم

ابغى اروح اتطمن على الأولاد..

أبوي جاوبها باستغراب ' مو وقته الحين خليني انام وبكرهـ يصير خير '

لكن باصرارها قام من النوم مستغرب وراحو سوى

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جلست أصرخ أمييي أبوييي

بس محد يرد !!!

مسكت ثيابها ابغاها تسمعني

بس ماحست !!!

جلست امشي وراها لحد ما وصلت غرفة النوم

دخلو غرفة النوم وشغلو اللمبات

ماكانت تفرق معاي لأن الدنيا منوره أصلا

بسسس تفاجأت لما شفت شي غرييييييب

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شفت جسمي !!!

أيوه جسمي انا

جلست أطالع في نفسي لقيتني صرت اثنين

قلت في نفسي مين هذا ؟ وكيف هذا يشبهني !!!

جلست أضرب في نفسي أبغى أصحى من هذا الحلم الكئيييب

لكن ما صحيييت

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أبوي قال ' يالله شفتي انهم نايمين خلينا نمشي '

لكن أمي ما هديت راحت عند اللي كان نايم مكاني

قالت محمد قووم محمد قووم رد علي

بس ما يرد !!!

حاولت أكثر من مرره وفجأة بدأت دمووع أبي تتساقط

أبي القوي الذي لم أرى في حياتي دموعه رأيتها اليوم

بدأ الصراخ يعلو المكان .. صحى أخي من النوم قال ' ايش صاير '

أمي قالت له وهي تصرخ ' أخووك ماات محمد ماات ' وهي تبكي بحرقة

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ازداد الصراخ

رحت لأمي قلتلها لا تبكي أنا هنا شوفيني!!

مافي احد بيرد علي ليييه

جلست أصرخ أنا موجووود شوفووو

بس مافي حد بيرررد

جلست أصرخ يااااارب يااااااارب يخلص الحلم اللي انا فييه

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سمعت صوت يأتي من بعيد وكان يعلو شيء فشيء

حتى سمعت قوله تعالى : ((
لقد كنت في غفلة من هذا فكشفنا عنك غطاءك فبصرك اليوم حديد
لَقَدْ كُنتَ فِي غَفْلَةٍ مِّنْ هَذَا فَكَشَفْنَا عَنكَ غِطَاءكَ))

فجأة في اثنين مسكوني بس هما مش من البشر

خفت !!

جلست أصرخ أتركووني أتركووني

أنتو مييين ؟؟ وايش تبغو ؟؟

قالو : ' أحنا حراسك لحد القبر '
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قلت أنا مامت أنا حي
لييه تودوني القبر أتركووني !!
أنا أحس و أتكلم و أشوف لسى ما مت
ردو علي بابتسامه

قالو ' عجيب أمركم يالبشر تظنون أن الموت نهاية الحياة ولا تدرون أن ماكنتم تعيشون فيه هو حلم قصير ينتهي عندما تموتون '
مازالو يسحبون فيني لحد القبر
واحنا بالطريق شفت ناس بتبكي وناس بتضحك و ناس بتصرخ
وكل واحد معاه اثنين زيي
سألتهم ليييه يسوو كيذا ؟؟
قالو ' الناس هذول عارفين مصيرهم منهم من كان على ضلال '
قاطعتهم وانا خائف ' يعني بيروحو النار !!!! '
قالو ' نـعـم '
وأكملو حديثهم ' واللي يضحك هذا رايح الجنة '
رديت بسرعة ' وأنا رايح فيين ؟؟؟؟؟ '
قالو ' أنت كنت شويه تمشي صح و شويه تمشي خطأ
شويه تتوب وترجع اليوم الثاني تعصي وماكنت واضح مع نفسك
وهتضل كيذا تايه '
قاطعتهم و أنا خائف ' يعني اييييييييش يعني انا برووح الناار '

ردو علي ' رحمة الله واسعة و الرحلة طويلة '



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التفت وأنا خايف شفت أهلي أبوي عمي أخواني أقاربي كلهم



كانو حاملييني بصندوق رحت لهم ركض قلتلهم ' ادعو لي '



لكن مافي حد رد علي منهم من كان يبكي ومنهم من كان حزيين



رحت لأخوي قلت له انتبه من الدنيا وفتنها لاتغريييك



كنت أتمنى لو أنه يسمعني



شدوني الملكيين لقبري ونوموني فوق الجسد حقي



شفت ابوي وهو يرمي التراب فوقي



شفت اخواني وهما يرمو التراب



شفت الناس كلها ترمي التراب فوقي



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تمنيت لو اني مكانهم في الدنيا كان تبت



كان صليت الفجر أمس



كان دعييت ربي كل يوم



كان جددت توبتي كل يوم



كان بطلت معااصي



جلست اصرخ ' يااانااااس انتبهووو تغرركم الدنيا '



تمنييت لو حد يسمعني



فهل سمعتني أنت ؟ ؟ ؟

Sugar rush

Last week when I was sugar-craving (cuz u know what was coming along :p)
I shoved 2-3 cupcakes from Goodies into my mouth like I was coming out
of a hunger strike!!
But since I live with other people I had to be considerate to them so
I had to leave a few and keep my cravings at bay. It was sooo
dissapointing when they finished! Then because my cravings got worse I
HAD to make my own cupcakes!! But due to the fact I had and still have
finals I had to wait, then when I finally made the cake the craving
was gone and you know what came, now I can't look at a cake or
chocolate without having guilt claw itself at me :p
Though I should point out that this is the first time this EVER
happened to me. I was very much suprised! Plus the mood swings, boy oh
boy, they are weird! I hadn't felt so odd in my life!
Giggle!
The Sugar-crave is over,scale-phobia is in!!
Signed,
The.Insomniac
P.S pray for me everyone,final lab metabolism 2 awaits me at 11 am
today and I have been tossing and turning all night, jittery for some
unknown reason!! I need to get a full mark in it!! Ya rab!

Sent from my iPod

Bubbling chocolate fudge.

I'm entertaining the thought of chocolate honey cigars. It'd be very
interesting and not to mention yummy too! And they wouldn't be bad for
my health either, they'd be smoke (tobacco) free and edible!
They'd fulfill my desire to be outrageous and witty.
Oh and Thank you anonymous, your comments are heartwarming and very
much appreciated. I'm glad you liked my writing.
(gracefully curtsying)
May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon all of you who have read
my blog, commented and enjoyed my work.
I love you all.

Sent from my iPod

Home.

I used to think that Falasteen is my country until I lived in Saudi
Arabia.
As a child in America my family and I were very active in the islamic
community, we'd attend conventions and concerts and sing songs about
Palistine, I heard the song "raji3 3a bladi" more than once this week
and I found out I already knew the lyrics by heart because it was a
big part of my childhood the song simply says I'm going back to my
country, the land of AlAqsa I'm going back home. And I truly beleived
that home was Alquds. Maybe it is in a way, its freedom will
symbolize peace and unity between us.
All I know is that I am starting to remember this and I'm a bit
homesick.
12 January 2009
10:10 pm

Sent from my iPod

Sigh or cry!

Sadly this is our reality!

Thoughts Running in Her Head...

I look too innocent she said to her reflection
I want to scream
If I hack my long hair off
Will I look like I’m mean?
Oh what I’d give to wear a dress by Alexander McQueen
Maybe this is all a dream
Someday I’ll wake up
And this will be no more than a scene in a movie
Where the boy tells the girl:
I’ve been waiting for you
And she replies
I love you too
Images of the life she could have imprint themselves in her mind
Whenever she feels sad, they rewind
The day will come she talked to her reflection once more
When the world wont be cruel to me, it’ll be kind
And the bruises I have wont hurt. No longer sore
When that happens
I won’t just laugh
I’ll roar
I may look innocent she said again
But that’s just skin
Underneath there’s more.

1:57 pm January 7, 2009

Me...

Slowly
The pain in my heart subsided
Then like a freight train it came back strong and loud
Shocking me to the core
One day I’m okay
Then I hear a love song
And I become sad and heartbroken
I haven’t been in love … yet
But my mind makes it seem like the most amazing thing in the world
I see the people around me who are married or on the way to
They aren’t as happy as my mind pictures people in love should be
So I start getting the pre-crying heart pains
I feel so tiny
So lonely
So lost
Maybe it’s because of the media that messed up my mind so?
Beats me.
Though I don’t think so!
I sleep and all my dreams are so bad,
I wake up thanking God for reality
Yesterday I dreamt one of the most bizarre dreams I ever had.
Nothing made sense!
It wasn’t a bad one, but it was truly messed up
Made me want to cry
Because it made me wish for prince charming so bad
Where is he I wonder
Why isn’t he here?
Why am I here writing this,
When I could be dancing with him on my favorite song?
I guess he’s on his way
Probably got caught up by bandits.
But he’s going to come
I’m sure
God is kind, He won’t let me stay sad any longer.
That’s why I love Him
He’s my savior
My solace when everyone leaves me and goes
He’s the one that truly understands me
So… I Love you Allah.


Friday
4-5-2008
9:24 pm
On my bed. Wondering!
Still wondering 6-Jan-09 1:23 am

My Bubble Burst

I thought that if I was super good, super sweet, super kind… I’d get married. I’d get my prince charming. Apparently I was wrong on two things. A) it doesn’t make a difference and its not magic! B) there ain’t no prince charming. Regardless. I still want to get married. Because, I believe even though marriage is full of responsibilities, it has some fun too. I mean we don’t have boyfriend girlfriend relations in Islam, but we do have movies, music, books and TV shows from all around the world showing us the –yes glossed and unrealistic but still tempting- relationships, the happiness the sadness, the happily-ever-after(s) and what am I supposed to do about it? What can I do about it? Simply absolutely nothing. All I can do is sit and dream and keep wishing that I might get a slice of that reality. Feminists and the women of my family, would kill me if they heard this. They’d say that there is much more to life that getting a guy, that they aren’t worth the effort and you’ll get that headache one day so why ask for it now? Well because I am tired of waiting I am tired of sitting around while I know that my friends and people around me are getting a piece of the cake, yes it’s wrong and forbidden in Islam –the whole dating thing- and Allah doesn’t allow it and it grants sins, breaks hearts and so on and so forth, but I want it the right way, I want it with the guy I marry, I don’t want him to be serious except about certain things like: monogamy ((me and only me playa !!)) and respect, other than that, I want us to be goofy and silly together, I want us to go bungee jumping and sky diving, try extreme sports and extreme fun and adventure, at the same time he’d enjoy sitting beside me in our quiet living room just listening to the world pass us by. But basically I want him to have fun with me. Yeah I want him to have fun with his friends and be social, but still I don’t want a guy that would be bored by me or get nervy and jumpy if he’s not out with the guys. I hate how I sound.
Recently I’ve been having depression attacks… suddenly my heart feels like theres this giant hand squishing it… it really hurts and I feel like I just want to curl up under my sheets and cry my eyes out. But I don’t for many reasons, mainly because I want to end this feeling, I don’t want to hang my hopes on some unknown future, and I don’t want to rely on a person to make me happy because I for one know, that people are the biggest disappointment in life. You can only rely on yourself to make you happy, because otherwise, your hopes – most probably, almost all the time- get crushed like an ant, right after they are belittled and made fun of.
It’s not the whole -I don’t have a guy- that’s bothering me, it’s everything. The list of things that hurt and anger me is really long. But there are certain things that are in bold and highlighted, while others are just on the list and wouldn’t bother me if they were on their own, but they get stacked up, those little things, and in they wind along with the big issues make me explode and shatter into so many pieces, I think I lost some when I put myself back together so maybe that’s why I feel hurt, there are so many gaps that need filling, so many pieces of me that are missing, all the scars and wounds that are barely healing get picked at constantly, never to truly recover and match the rest of my skin.

10:32 pm 11-3-2008
Actually this is how I feel almost everyday 4:36 pm 6-Jan-09

Sigh

Sigh
I am extremely bothered at the moment
Reading "she said u were ok, not photogenic" is irrevecobly
disconcerting cuz I know I'm not, I'm videogenic but it just hit a
nerve, it's like saying you're not beautiful. That ur beauty is not
good enough to be captured on camera!!
Maybe I'm reading too much into this maybe I'm not.
I like how I look I honestly do,
But this world is only nice to the dropdead gorgeous (boys and girls)
people.
I mean I've seen really ugly (no offense) people being treated kindly
as in sympathy but for the normal looking people who's personalities
are AMAZING they're overlooked.
I'm not claiming to be unsuperficial, I am. (I like good looking
people especially actors/actresses)

But I am normal looking that's how God created me.
I know I'm smart and funny and cute.
But if I don't open my mouth and talk you wouldn't look twice at me,
I'm loud and i laugh without inhibitions and i skip on public and
express myself with pureness of heart.
I don't mind talking in public or laughing or vein overjoyed that my
happiness effects everyoe around me.
I am me, and until my prince charming (the one who'll appreciate,
respect, love and understand me) comes I'm not bending over or
changing for anybody.

I know no one asked me to, but I'm
Not waiting for anyone to do so.

Sigh
Seriously hungry but fasting, I think it's 3ashoura.

Peace out.
January 6 2008
3:26 pm

Sent from my iPod

Me

I have known for a while that my vice is that I am an extreemly
impatient person.
Seriously it's a really bad thing
Because u know when they say good things come to those who wait
But waiting is HARD excruciatingly so!!
It's like someone saying I'm going to give you a new laptop with all
the specs you've been dreaming of but not tell u when, just soon. And
even though it'll probably in the next week u can't wait. Ur jittery
and buzzy and can't think straight.
U may end up wishing it were a surprise. All the suspense is killing u.
Well what if the thing ur waiting for is a million times BETTER than a
laptop? What then? I bet yu couldn't sit still or even produce a
coherent thought for the whole "waiting" period.
Sigh.
I'm going to go pray now.
And whoever reads this, pray for me.
Ps I have a metabolism test I HAVE to ace or I'll lose my mind. So
pray for me please.

Love
The jittery shimmery jitter bug.

Sent from my iPod