Tuesday, December 29, 2009

No Darling it's not a trick of the light

you are truly seeing it! it never happened before this,
all the ppl on the "perfection list" are removed!
finally they have paled, withered, shriveled and died a quiet painless death.
with this dramatic bomb I Bid you -whoever reads this- aduei.
au revoir
Bon voyage
hasta la vista

Friday, December 11, 2009

Once, not too long ago, though it sure feels like it, I was called a hypocrite
I didn't understand why, but a year later I understood
It wasn't that I said something and did another, no.
It was because I saw a situation I considered wrong
and then I found myself in a similar one and didn't see anything wrong with it.
Point is; don't preach about something you haven't the foggiest idea about.
Apparently Dunhill's are the best cigarettes
Davidoff's are the worst
Marlboro's are a solid trademark
And indonesians make the worst cigarettes
I dunno if it's true,
That's what I've been told
I hate it when beautiful people (namely guys) smoke
It breaks my heart
I want to say: noooooooo give that cig to Ugly standing next to you!
To be brutally honest: I fantasize about smoking; even tho I know its unhealthy
Notice I said 'fantasize' as in I have NEVER put a cigarette to my lips
Everytime I want to try it I worry about two things:
1- that I'll like it
2- that I'll lose all respect for myself
Which is why I don't and hopefully won't ever smoke
I don't want to marry a smoker
Simply because the furniture, clothes, body odor, bags, basically everything will stink of smoke
It'll be like making out with an ashtray
And inhaling toxic fumes in a lab.
Oh and smoking includes: shisha, m3assil, cigarettes, cigars, pipe and hash
I just had icecream at an icecream bar at a wedding! It was awesome!
Then to balance I got fruit salad later.
I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
Tonight I actually 'felt' beautiful
Ma sha Allah
Its amazing what blowidrying my hair does to my confidence
I feel 'hot'!
Makeup too! Its like it gave me power. Added to the dress.
I feel like I could withstand any blow
(Well not really but right now I believe so)
Though I could you know, withstand any effort to squash me
Because I'm no longer a soldier fighting someone else's battle
I'm a warrior and the war I go into is for truth love and honor
I don't need to fight to survive.
I exude power, calm and love
Love conquers all (emotions that is, God conquers all!)
Thinking of sleeping in my dress,
but it aint that comfortable, so no, gotta get up and to bed in 'jammies
I bid you
Bonne nuit
Au reviore

Thursday, December 10, 2009

scattered thoughts

I wish I was comfortable in my own skin
I never was and never will be apparently
I'm pretty but not beautiful
Smart but not witty
And until someone geniuenly convinces me otherwise I can't seem to see it any other way.
I've never been carefree, but maybe careless
I'm sweet and never callous
I have yet to meet the man of my dreams
The one who's imperfections fit in the puzzle of my life
The one who was created for me
I'm not daft in thinking that it'll be easy that there won't be tears and pain
Because I know there'll be love and joy to eclipse the sorrow that may descend
It's been said-mainly by me- that I am contradictory
In truth I am very much so, I might hate something with vengance yet love it with equal fervor
I might forbid myself something yet yearn for it feverishly
I've been thin but never skinny
I only notice that because of how much I loathe how I look now
That I have now willpower to get up and excersize
That even when I found the solution hurdles are thrown in my path
I love pilates, it helped me grow emotionally and physically
I had the perfect body
But pilates was 250 a class
3 times a week meaning 750 riyals a week and 3000 riyals a month
Money I don't have (hate)
So I choose horseback riding
It was 50 riyals a day 3 times a week = 150 riyals a week 600 riyals a month
Verrrrry reasonable!!!!
But nooooooooooo
Baby bro HAD to hate it, my sis's horse got sold and she didn't like any other
My mom was ok either way
And dad well didn't 'feel' like it anymore
Apparently the whole family bar mom saw that sitting infront of the tv
And getting fatter and lazier was better
God I hate this.
I wish I were breathtakingly enchanting
I wish I had coherent thoughts
But all that's there is babble.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

My Dream

I Want To Be One With The Heavens, on a bike.
i want a Kawasaki!!!

Monday, November 23, 2009

My Favorite Quote

John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be? ~Dead Poets Society

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Stephanie Laurens!!!!!!

she's amazing!

Here's a paragraph from her book Tangled Reins :

"Almost instantly Buchanan was bodily plucked from her and thrown roughly against the wall. In

considerable surprise he slid down to sit on the floor, his legs splayed out in front of him and an idiotic look on his face. Desborough, adjusting the set of his coat before offering his arm to Dorothea, turned at the last moment to say, 'Be thankful it was me and notPeterborough, Walsingham, or, God forbid, Hazelmere. Any of those three and you would be nursing rather more bruises and, very likely, a few broken bones as well. I suggest, Mr Buchanan, that you trouble Miss Darent no longer.' And, with that, he ushered a deeply grateful Dorothea back into the ballroom.
The upshot was that Hazelmere's friends never, ever, left her unattended again, whether in the ballroom, the Park, or any other gathering of the fashionable."

she makes me laugh, makes me cry and has confrmed my beleif that a book is the best partner one could ever have!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

White Horse- Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry

That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Baby I was naíve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance,
My mistake, I didn't know,
To be in love you had to fight to get the uppper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't our fairytale
I'm gonna find someone, someday
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.
Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
It's too late
To catch me now

 God this is so true
It hurts that it is!

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